


Davekat

by Sapphire_sky



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, I Don't Even Know, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I like movies, M/M, davekat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-01-21 04:59:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1538522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphire_sky/pseuds/Sapphire_sky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dave and Karkat watch movies and play Flappy Bird and yeah... that's mostly it</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So guys this is my first fanfic so please don't judge it to harshly. Also, please point out any grammatical errors so I might be able to fix them. I do not own Homestuck or any of the characters... or Flappy Bird

==> Be Dave Strider  
You are now Dave Strider. You have had months to adjust to your new body, but it still makes no sense to you. It doesn't help that Rose, John, and Jade seem completely used to them. You still know practically nothing about the quadrants, though you feel really strange things sometimes. And then there are the horns. The things stick out of your head like fucking antlers, which you guess they kind of are. They stick straight up and are about five inches long. The fangs are irritating too, so every time you bite your lip it fucking bleeds. At least you didn't have to do the whole blood color change like the others did. Your blood remains the red that it has always been, thank god. And you can make all these new sounds. You can growl, hiss, and purr. Why the fuck would you ever need to fucking purr? You still wear your shades, however, because 1) they are way to awesome to NOT wear, 2) they remind you of your old life, and 3) why the hell not? You still have your sense of irony, thank god, or is it gog? You also haven't gotten used to your skin being grey. You are sitting on the floor in your room. In the dark. Alone. Everyone else is probably socializing or whatever, and here you are listening to your sick beats. You have to admit, they are pretty amazing. You take a sip of your apple juice, savoring the artificial appleness. And oh my gog you are bored, so what not to do in boredom than annoy Karkat. You pull out your phone and text him.  
DAVE: hey  
There is no response for a while, but he eventually responds.  
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT  
DAVE: im bored  
KARKAT: SO YOU DECIDE TO PISS POOR KARKAT OFF?  
DAVE: yep, thats pretty much it  
KARKAT: SO REALLY WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT  
DAVE: im bored  
DAVE: do you have any suggestions of things to do  
KARKAT: GO FUCK YOURSELF  
DAVE: tried that  
KARKAT: DID YOU REALLY  
KARKAT: SO STUPID  
DAVE: no i actually didnt... fuck you  
KARKAT: JUST COME OUT OF YOUR DAMN ROOM  
DAVE: nah, ill just play mario kart  
KARKAT: OK THEN  
DAVE: so whatre you doing  
KARKAT: TEXTING YOU, FUCKFACE  
DAVE: i fucking know that  
DAVE: i just wanted to know if you wanted to get youre ass kicked at mario kart  
KARKAT: NOPE, ITS YOU ASS THATS GONNA FUCKING GET KICKED  
DAVE: so bye ill see you in a few minutes?  
KARKAT: FUCK YOU  
You turn off your phone and get Mario Kart running. By the time there is a knock on the door, you are almost done with your third race. Karkat sits on the couch and picks up a controller. You quickly finish your race, in first place of course, and turn to Karkat. "So which track do you wanna get your ass kicked on?" you ask. "None, but I will agree on your ass getting kicked on that shitty looking rainbow one," you shake your head and click on the track. You pick Peach, and Karkat picks Toad. "Seriously?" he asks, "You're gonna go with the blond bitch?" You nod, keeping a perfect poker face, "For the ironies, of course." After three more races, he still hasn't beaten you yet. "Wow, you suck at this game," you tell him, and he growls at you. At least it's adorable when he's upset. His fangs are bared and he reaches over and steers your kart off a cliff, and he zooms past you. "Dick," you mumble, but you pass him again within a lap. Even after you've played every single track, he's only beaten you twice. "Your ass been beaten enough, Karkitty?" you ask. He snarls and throws his remote onto the couch. You can't help but smirk a little at Karkat's tantrums. They were kinda adorable, like toddler adorable. Karkat crossed his arms over his chest and mumbled a, "fuck off." You roll your eyes, which Karkat can't see because of the shades. "Ya know, you can always say that you wanna watch one of your shitty movies instead. That'd be fine with me," you say. Karkat mumbles something else, but eventually nods. You pull out a random movie from the stack of discs that you have and instert it into the player. This was going to be a long day, but even more so if you picked a shitty movie.  
==> Be Karkat  
You are now Karkat, and you hate being beaten at fucking Mario Kart of all games. Dave tells you that he picked a random movie, and a look of concern flashes on your face. Dave probably sees it, because he smirks and looks at the screen. You are sitting on the opposite side of the couch as he is, and your eyes widen when the name of the movie pops up on the screen. Insidious. "Oh shit. Not THIS movie," you sigh. John had told you that this was a horror movie, but you have never really seen a horror movie. "You've seen it?" Dave asks, sounding the tiniest bit disappointed. "Nope," you say, "but I've heard of it." Dave looks relieved and resumes the movie. By the end of the film, you are gripping the couch under you and your knuckles are white. Human horror movies are fucking scary. Dave looks at you, "You like the movie?" he seems perfectly fine with the whole "horror movie" thing. "Fuck you," you reply, still holding yourself upright. Dave smirked, "Dude, you're holding the couch for dear life. That movie wasn't THAT scary," you glare at him. He fakes looking offended, "Hey, I didn't know that Karkat could get scared by a little bit of creepy shotgun posession action." You snort, "Well I didn't know that Strider was such a dick about movie selection," and you storm out. Dave seems to know exactly how to piss you off, but you surprisingly don't hate himfor it, and you hate yourself for not hating him. Once you reach your room, you see that Dave has tried to contact you a few times since you left.  
DAVE: hey  
DAVE: so ya know how you stormed out of the room like you were extremely pissed, which you probably were?  
DAVE: i shouldve looked at the movie before you saw it  
DAVE: so... sorry about that  
KARKAT: WAIT WHAT  
KARKAT: IM PRETTY SURE STRIDER DOESNT SAY SORRY  
KARKAT: SO WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE  
DAVE: just because i got horns dont mean im a dick  
KARKAT: WOW... I AM MARVLED BY THIS SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT  
DAVE: hmph  
DAVE: you dick  
KARKAT: WHY THANK YOU  
KARKAT: I FUCKING TRY SO FUCKING HARD  
DAVE: of course you do  
DAVE: hey im the one asking if youre ok and youre being a dick  
KARKAT: YOUVE REALLY GOTTA WORK ON YOUR INSULTS  
KARKAT: THEY ARE SO BAD THAT MY THINKPAN HURTS  
DAVE: ugh ok im fucking going to leave you to your fucking self now  
That went better than you expected. Really better. You thought you would break at that one. You wanted to rip his horns off his head sometimes. But that was only sometimes. Most times you wanted to- you feel a pain from between your legs at the thought. You are disgusted with yourself. You did NOT feel that way about Dave fucking Strider. No fucking way. Not under any fucking circumstances. You hear someone coming down the hallway, and you slam and lock your door. No one will bother you now, you've got some damn movies to watch  
==> That's enough of that shit. Go back to being Dave again  
You put down your phone again, then pick it back up and start playing Flappy Bird. You play for ten minutes and finally beat your high score (now it's 3). You put your phone down AGAIN, just for you to feel the text vibrations coming from next to you. You pick up you phone for the fucking LAST TIME and answer the text.  
KARKAT: HEY SHITFACE  
KARKAT: IM GOING TO WATCH SOME NOT SHITTY MOVIES  
KARKAT: SO FUCK YOU  
DAVE: and you tell me this why?  
KARKAT: BECAUSE I FUCKING CAN  
DAVE: nah i dont think its that karkitty  
KARKAT: WELL ITS SURE AS FUCK NOT ANYTHING ELSE  
KARKAT: SO FUCKING BYE SHITSTAIN  
DAVE: adios  
KARKAT: WAIT WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN  
DAVE: its spanish  
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK IS SPANISH  
DAVE: nevermind  
You can't help but smiling like an idiot. For two reasons of course. The first was that he didn't know what Spanish was. It wasn't surprising, but it was still amusing. The second was that Karkat TOTALLY liked you. You felt like a dumbass for being this happy, but you don't really give a shit the more you think about it. You were still smiling when Karkat opened the door. And the door opened really loudly at that. "What the hell are you so happy about, Strider?" he asked, and you just smirk. "You don't know what Spanish is, man. EVERYONE knows what Spanish is," you stop smiling and put your flawless poker face back into place. Karkat's eyes stay on you for a second too long, and you look at him. Karkat immediately looks away. You just raise your eyebrows and go back to looking at your phone, tapping the screen like there's no tomorrow. "Well I don't give a shit about Spanish," he mumbles, just loud enough for you to hear him. He walks over and looks over your shoulder at you furiously smashing that fucking bird into pipes as much as you possibly fucking can. He snatches your phone from you, and you turn around to see Karkat tapping the screen. He hands you back your phone about three minutes later, and you see that the high score has changed from 3 to 29874651034. "What the fuck did you do?" you ask, and Karkat rolls his eyes. "Sollux showed me a bit of hacking strategies. Blame him," he smirks. You roll your eyes and stuff your phone in your pocket. "It's only been twenty-five fucking minutes. You must REALLY enjoy hangin' with me, bro," you say. "Or it's just fucking because I don't have and fucking movies in my room," he snaps back. You know for a fact that this is a big fat fucking lie, but you let him sit on the couch anyway. "So what do ya wanna watch?" you lean back onto the kinda uncomfortable couch. Karkat looks at you. His face is so close that you can feel his breath on your face. He pulled a disc from between the cushions. "This one any good?" he asks. My gog, you have been looking for this movie for fucking ages. "This one's the shit," you watch him put the movie in the player. You sit through two hours of shitty actors doing shitty stunts on a shitty set. "Damn," Karkat says, after the movie had ended, "that was so awful that it was funny." You look over at him. "Wait just one fucking second, is Karkat smiling? Is that even physically possible for you? I AM FUCKING STUNNED BY THIS SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT." Wait, was Karkat's face turning red? "Fuck you," he just manages to mutter to himself.  
==> Ok, this is getting boring... so go be Karkat  
Your name is once again Karkat, and yeah, you're pretty sure your face is red. It's not YOUR fault that he's completely and utterly adorable. You can tell that he raises his eyebrows, but he just pulls out his phone and plays his definition of music into his headphones. You put in another shitty movie and sit back down. You sit slightly closer to Dave than you had been, but you also hope that he doesn't notice. He probably does, because he looks up from his phone and at you. You turn your head and hit play on the remote. Dave whines, "But this movie actually IS scary. Karkat, change the damn movie," you refuse to change the movie, but he makes no move to either, which surprises you, for he is perfectly capable of doing so himself. He grunts, and by the end of the movie both of your hands are shaking and you're huddling together. You feel surprisingly safer now than you had been before, which frusterated the shit out of you because you did NOT feel that way about Strider. Even so, you find yourself lightly leaning into his shoulder. He seems surprised, but only a little bit. You can tell that he's shaking a little too, for his hands are shaking on his phone. You are suddenly very fucking tired. You try your hardest, well not really, to stay awake. But alas, your attemps fail. Ok, you weren't really trying at all, but you try to trick yourself into thinking that you tried not to fall asleep. The thought soothes you. You drift to sleep, not looking at Dave.  
==> Time for the Strider swag  
You look at the sleeping Karkat on your lap, and you have a stupid urge to brush the hair out of his face. But for all you know, he could just be awake like the dick he is most of the time.  
Kiss him, idiot  
Oh NO, not THIS shit again. You are DONE with the stupid little voices telling you to do this and that. It's fucking AWFUL.  
Really? Just do it, you douchebag  
You decide to completely ignore the voices, but you still cradle Karkat's head in your lap. Score for the fucking antelope. You drink the rest of your apple juice. Damn, it's hard to move around with Karkat practically in your lap. You eventually give up on trying to move and you lean back on the couch, making sure to put your shades on the table/foot rest in front of you. You close your eyes, and slowly fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omfg guys. If I had seen all the positive reviews this was getting I would have updated sooner! Keep the positive feedback coming! I love you all <3

**== > Wake the fuck up, asshole**  
Nyeh. Last time you checked, you didn't get ordered around by fucking nonexistent arrow shits. You do in fact wake up, though your decision had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING do do with the order via bitchvoice. Jegus. Now, let's process things one at a time, shall we?   
1) You're lying down.  
Yeah well no shit.   
2) You're unusually warm.  
Go on...  
3) You're fucking laying on someone's fucking lap.  
Spot fucking on.  
And take a guess who's lap you're fortunate enough to be laying on? One Dave fucking Strider. Fucking great. Better not move or you'll be impaled by the hornbeast itself. Better not move or you'll be cold again, like every other morning on this miserable meteor, which has been made slightly less miserable by the presence of a few certain few trolls (moirail kinda sorta somewhat included, depending on his mood at any given time).  
You dunno if the Strider asshole is awake or not, but better not to wake him, right? You can't see him, but if you did, you would notice that his head is lolled back in sleep, and his eyelids are drooped. What you do in fact notice from your quite comfortable position is that his breathing is steady, which you take as a sign of being asleep.  
 **== > Now be the Strider asshole**  
Mission fucking accomplished. You are now one Dave Strider.  
 **== > Now wake up**  
Fine. You wake up, slowly lifting your head to a not as uncomfortable position. Kitkat's still exactly where you left him, laying across your lap, though his breathing's slightly off. You pay absolutely no attention to this detail, shifting only slightly so you could sit up all the way. You hear a grunt. "Dude. I know you're awake. Now sit the fuck up so my legs can refill with the blood it was denied all through the night.  
Reluctantly, it seemed, Karkes sat up, yawning. What time was it, anyway? Not that mattered. The meteor drained all sense of time from your body, leaving you to sleep only when you deem necessary. You think it's morning, but you'll never really be sure.  
"How'd ya sleep?" you ask, smirking at the flustered troll sitting beside you. You don't expect a response, and you don't get one. All you get is a weak elbow to the rib-cage, which you return just as weakly. You're tired, okay? Still tired, even though you literally just woke up. Troll sleeping schedules are weird. You lean your head back once again, trying to get a few more hours of sleep before you're ready to face the day (or night or whatever time it is).  
Only a minute or so after you even out your breathing, the Knight of Kitkatiness moves back to the position he had been in before you had woken up. He's like your personal blanket now, though you only feel his warmth for the ten more minutes it takes for you to sleep.  
You dream of life before the goddamn game. How it was actually pretty great once you observed it further. No giant evil green things to attempt to kill, no being a troll, and Bro... you know... was still alive. When it was just you, Bro, apple juice, and your precious turntables. Those things could whip up a beat when even you couldn't. You don't even know if the meteor you currently reside on will ever get anywhere, so for now you're stuck on a meteor with your internet friends and a bunch of aliens you mean trolls. Could things get any weirder?  
Apparently so, because you're awoken by the all too familiar buzz of your phone. Someone's messaging you.  
GC: H3LLO D4V3  
TG: sorry TZ but im busy right now  
GC: W1TH WH4T :?  
TG: stuff  
GC: 4R3 YOU TRY1NG TO 4VO1D M3 >:[  
TG: are you fucking kidding me?  
TG: no!  
TG: im just up to my neck in very important shit that i have to deal with  
GC: TH3N C4NT YOUR H34D 4T L345T ROLL OV3R TO S4Y H1 ONC3 1N 4 WH1L3 :?  
TG: id very much like to keep my head attached to by body  
TG: but sure you can come over once i finish dealing with my extremely large and very pressing pile of shit  
TG: deal?  
GC: D34L >:]  
  
Oh shit. You have to get your "extremely large and very pressing pile of shit" dealt with quickly now, or else Terezi's just gonna barge into your room whenever she feels like it. It's happened an uncountable number of times before. But you can't stand up to deal with your metaphorical pile of shit until a certain nubby horned troll gets off your lap. And you wouldn't want to be the cause of his discomfort, so you leave him laying there, even though you can't feel your legs.  
You guess you'll just have to wait for TZ to get here. That actually takes a surprisingly long time- two minutes. New record- to happen, but when she does reach your room, she practically kicks down the door. You blink, slowly picking up your shades from where they lay beside you on the couch and slipping them on, turning your head towards the teal blooded troll in your doorway.  
"I think you hurt the door," is all you can say. Terezi's looking at you, then Karkles, then back at you with a kind of hurt on her face. You suppose that as soon as she leaves Senator Lemonsnout'll be receiving extra special treatment, which probably consists of an extra painful interrogation and hanging, complete with a slow and painful beheading. Gog, you've just rekilled Lemonsnout.  
You poke Kittykat until he wakes up mumbling something about being "fucking comfortable, so let me go the fuck to sleep," but you persist until he's sitting up and rubbing his eyes, which inexplicably widen once he catches a glimpse of Terezi. It's a staredown for a really long time, the candy blooded troll looking just confused and surprised, while the teal blood was wearing a >:[ kind of expression.  
You can't tell is she's angry or not, and, to be honest, you don't really want to know. "What is it, Terezi? What can I help you with?" you finally get out, though quieter than you'd expected it to be. "Too much candy smell in here. Karkat? Are you hiding in here? I can smell you." Apparently the blind girl has fucking ninja senses. You hope Kitkat at least plays it off cool, so TZ doesn't suspect anything. "Uh... hey Terezi," the mutant blood beside you says, eyes still wide.  
Terezi wrinkles her nose. "I smell... cherries, technology, and, strangely, nervousness. Dave, what are you doing with Karkat in your room?" Well, when she puts it that way, you must sound like some kind of creep. "Just watching an utterly shitty movie. Care to join?" You're elbowed in the ribs by Karkat, and you nudge him back, moving over to make room for the teal blooded troll on the couch.  
She plops down between you and Karkat, but the both of you know better than to protest, lest she suspect anything. You just hit play on the movie you and Mr. Beep Beep Meow had finished the day before, bracing yourself for the creepy-ass puppets and clowns to start killing everyone. Yesterday, the neon blood was especially freaked out by the latter, and you know well why. Dude's moirail went on some kind of murder rampage apparently, leaving only a few survivors left on the meteors. Hate-clowns are way creepier yet cooler than you'd think.  
But you're pretty sure you'd be scared if John or Rose or Jade went all murder like that. A few minutes into the film, Terezi moves to kneel in front of the television, licking the staticy screen every few seconds to "get a taste for what's going on," leaving Shouty Mc Nubs and yourself to huddle together once again. You're comfortably warm right where you are, actually.  
But you're not nearly as freaked out by the movie as you were the first time, even if the entire screen is covered in teal-tinted saliva so you can't really see it. It seems that the troll leaning against your shoulder is scared slightly less as well, because he's not shaking. Much. Skitkattles has his head buried in the crook of your neck, eyes partially closed. The slight shaking ceases immediately after you quietly put one arm around him, pulling the smaller troll that much closer to you.  
Terezi doesn't notice a thing until you hear the movie end. There's a sniffing noise, and she spins on her knees to face you, squinting, as if trying to see something. "Hmm..." she grins, revealing a set of pointed teeth with something that looks like red chalk on them. "The end tasted bad. Beginning was okay. Not enough cherry human blood to satisfy my requirements. There was, though, an awful lot of candy in what humans would call the peanut gallery." The teal-blood then began to cackle, setting every one of your nerves on end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno if it's quite as fluffy or adorable as the first chapter, but I hope it's somewhat in that range...?

**Author's Note:**

> So there it was... I hope to add on more soon, hopefully at least every Wednesday. Any fanfic ideas that you think I could do please comment so I can try. ^u^ Does anyone know how to change the font colors?
> 
> EDIT: Coding is pain. Lots and lots of pain


End file.
